![]() And that didn’t stop me from dating, and then it was a disaster. “There have been times in my life where I’ve just not been stable enough to date. (15:08) When is the time for intervention?:Īllison explains that in order to date in a healthy way, you have to be in a stable enough place to do so. One of Allison’s missions in her book is to address the changes you can make to date in a healthier way. ![]() So when she began dating in a healthier way, she felt extremely curious that this kind of change was possible. ![]() She felt stuck in this loop of forever trying to lock things down, trying to define what things were and trying to get reassurance that the relationship was leading somewhere. And also, I’m bad at dating.” Allison shares that the uncertainty of dating was the most challenging part. I think I really viewed them as two separate things that I have mental illness. “I don’t think I’ve recognized how my anxieties and my different mental health struggles made dating really hard. She recounts that mental health has always been a prevalent part of her life, since she was diagnosed with OCD at four years old. Get yours for free at HERE !ĭamona sits down with Allison Raskin, New York Times bestselling author and co-host of the Just Between Us podcast.Īllison is the author of “Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression.” Additionally, she has developed shows with FX, Netflix, MTV, YouTube Red and 20th Century Television.īefore writing her book, Allison was truly surprised that a book hadn’t yet been written on the experience of what it’s like to date with anxiety and OCD. Ready to find your match? Let Damona help you out with the free Profile Starter Kit to get you online easily and on to your dating success story. Regardless, keep an open mind to how practicing compersion may help you find greater compassion for your romantic partner, as well as every other relationship in your life. And if you are having a hard time shifting your feelings of jealousy to joy, not to worry – the article states that it is definitely possible to feel compersion and jealousy at the same time. Practice compersion when a family member or friend is experiencing joy. The first tip, although counterintuitive, is to acknowledge your feelings of jealousy instead of pushing them away – when you first recognize that the feelings are there, it relieves any tension or judgment you may have around experiencing jealousy in the first place.Īnother suggestion of accessing compersion is to practice it first in non-romantic relationships. Psych Central gives some tips on ways to practice compersion in your relationship. Turning your feelings of jealousy into compersion could also act as an opportunity to experience a stronger feeling of connection and oneness with your partner. The article addresses a question you’re probably wondering – is it possible for monogamous people to feel compersion as well? And it definitely is! Monogamous couples may already be experiencing joy for their partners through experiences such as their close friendships or work wins.ĭamona suggests that compersion may actually be an opportunity to visualize the kind of partner we want to be in a relationship with, and how we want to feel when we’re with them. To add some historical context, this term was first coined by the Karissa Commune in San Francisco, which was actually a polyamourous community! This new definition was meant to encapsulate the feeling that you got when you saw your partner with another partner, and made you feel joy rather than jealousy. Thus, compersion can be thought of as the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness. It is the sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when they’re positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly. To give y’all a definition, compersion is our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others. What is the opposite of jealousy? Well according to Psych Central, it’s a feeling called compersion. New York Times Best-selling author Allison Raskin, co-host of the Just Between Us podcast, is here to discuss how coming to understand her anxiety and OCD have helped her to approach dating from a new perspective. Many people find the uncertainty experienced in dating and relationships stressful, but is anxiety keeping you from meeting your match?
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